Ten Things Most People Don't Know About Me

It's kind of a trend on some of the blogs I read to write 7 or 10 or 22 or however many "things you don't know about me," so I thought I'd try my hand at it.

1. I cry at movies. A lot. And really hard. Sometimes I audibly sob so much that I disturb the people around me. When I went to see a Lassie movie in the 1990s (I owned a collie at the time) I burst into tears as the opening credits began to roll! What an idiot I am! I've also been known to cry during cat food commercials.

2. I think all drugs should be legal, but I hate to even be in the same house with people smoking marijuana, and I don't like to be around other drugs, either. I think they should be legal, because the government programs aren't working and are a waste of time and money, plus, if people want to get high, it's their business. I hate marijuana because it stinks, and people act so goofy when they're on that and other drugs. I know, I'm no fun at all, right? But I think the AfroMan song is hilarious.

3 Okay, here's another sort of political one: I could care less about who marries who. Gay marriage, group marriage, animal marriage, even incest. The whole topic is kind of boring to me. As long as they are consenting adults and there's no abuse going on, I'm clueless about why anyone even cares.

4. I like to watch trashy TV shows in Spanish. I'm trying to learn Spanish, a little bit at a time, and so sometimes I watch these shows on Univision that are, like, the equivalent of the Jerry Springer show. I'd never in a million years watch these things in English, but in Spanish, I find them highly entertaining.

5. I've actually been to Graceland.

6. I hate to tell my age. I once had a shrink refuse to treat me because I didn't want to discuss my age on the first visit. These things require a build-up of trust, don't they?

7. More than anything, I want to be a published novelist and produced screenwriter. And I don't mean published by Piddly-Axx Press or produced by the Stoner-in-His-Basement Film Company. I've put so much of my heart and soul into my writing, and I still can't seem to make it happen.

8. I have a secret Indian (Native American) name that I was given by my half-Indian mother and told to keep a secret forever. I know some tribes call this a "War Name" and say you're supposed to draw upon the name for strength. I've never revealed my secret name to anyone.

9. I sleep with stuffed animals. Every night. If I go on a trip, I'll take a miniature one with me.

10. I don't much like to make lists like this one. So I'll stop now.