Silence of the Lambs

After spending the weekend at a horror writers' conference, I'm in my Las Vegas hotel room watching Silence of the Lambs before going to sleep.

I've seen it at least 20 times, and I'm only 25 minutes into it at this point, but on this viewing I'm struck by the emphasis on how utterly isolated and alone Clarice Starling is.

She has no family, no "significant other," and only one rather casual friend; and she's one of the few women in the FBI academy. She goes alone on all her missions: to interview Hannibal Lecter, to check out the storage area, and to interview the first victim's family. She has no one to emotionally support her, encourage her, or help her.

There's also an emphasis on her Appalachian "rube" background, and her lack of preparedness.

She's alone--and unprepared--in the climactic scene when she confronts the murderer, and is nearly killed as a result.

I'm identifying with her situation after attending the writers' conference

As I struggle--once again--to acquire an agent and sell a book or screenplay, I feel like Clarice Starling: myself also an Appalachian rube and in spite of my academic training, woefully incapable and unprepared to negotiate the tricky landscape of the publishing industry.

Worst of all, like Starling, I have no family and no close friend to help, encourage, or emotionally support me.

I'm not sure what to do, or how to continue.

Like Starling, I feel utterly isolated.

And I just don't think I can go it alone.

I did, however, make some new friends at the conference. We'll see if they stay in touch. . . .